Bunny Fields

The bunnyfields, a distant land somewhere over one of the neighbours gardens, fields not full of strawberries or poppies but bunnies, cute little fluffy ones. Ozzy the cat has discovered them, since he left kittenhood behind him we dont see much of him, he comes in for breakfast around 7-8am then is off hunting and returns around 7-9pm for dinner before dissapearing again. He doesnt even bother bringing the bunnies home anymore, he kills on site to minimise time and effort and just brings home their fleas.

Bad thunderstorm this morning and some very impressive lightening, he must have been sheltering somewhere, but made it home and now its brightened up and he's headed off out on another killing spree.

Bunny Story

Twas 5:00 am on a warm spring morning, the house was woken to the sound of peircing screams like someone or something being brutally murdered. At 6:30 when they awoke there it was, a pile of stinking intestines dumped on the hall carpet, the stench was awful, steam was still rising from them. A few inches away was a severed ear, a foot and fur scattered over a radius of several feet. The bunny had had it, its short life playing in the fields with its friends was over once and for all. Meanwhile Ollie the cat sat there with a big grin on his face saying ”You where late getting up and I was hungry”, “its time for my breakfast muncies now isnt it”

The Flies

Thursday, the flies moved in, like a horror film, about 50 or 60 of the little blighters were killed, at one point you could hardly see the windowsil for bodies. Some wood was removed that was boxing in some pipes and hey presto what was there ?. A dead decompsing mouse !, now after a few days the flies are finally gone. Today i went into the living room and collapsed on the sofa after a long walk and thought whats that smell, even went to spray some antipersperant, but it wasnt me. Again it smelt like decomposing body, so we lifted up the sofa and what did we find ?, you know dont you, yeh a large dead and decomposing mouse. Ollie the cat then races round the back of the sofa, as much to say as "Ooooo there it is, i new i left it somewhere, i’d forgotten all about that one", just wondering exactly what else he has left around the house.
 

The Bat

At 3am this morning we awoke to a bat flying round the house and hitting the glass panel in door leading down to the bedrooms. Ollie the cat had brought it in, alive through two cat flaps, and then let it go for a bit of entertainment. I managed to get it into the kitchen. The bat was doing an eliptical flight path round the kitchen about 12 inches below the ceiling while Ollie was doing a similar path around the kitchen worktop !. I tried to knock it down with a cloth to get hold of it but that wouldnt work and I didnt want to hurt it so I had a bright idea, I turned off the light hoping that the bat would think it was nighttime in a cave and would go to sleep, it worked !. When i turned the light back on it was upside down roosting from the artexed ceiling, so I managed to gently grab it in a cloth and put it out the window, the little fella flew off much to the disgust of Ollie. I think it may have been a brown long eared bat from pictures ive seen, its body was up to 2 inches long with quite a large wingspan and very long ears which where curled back like rams horns.

The Pillowcase

The little mouse had a carefree life, playing in the fields with his brothers and sisters, enjoying the bountifull harvest, everything appeared to him to be perfect until the day came that the cat got him. His mum and dad had told hime to be careful of the cats as they didnt like mice and killed them, but he never really believed it. He had strayed a little to far and it got him, he was picked up and tossed about in the air before being carried across the fields, through the woods and into the house. Fortunately the cat droped him and he fell to the ground and just managed to scurry under a cabinet, where he led there, heart pounding, wondering if he'd ever make it home to see his mum and dad. He could see the cat, its paw coming under the cabinet, frantically trying to catch him, but without success, after a while the cat got bored and fell asleep, the little mouse knew this was his chance of escape. He quietly, moved out from under the cabinet and headed towards the door, but suddenly realised he couldnt get through it, he panicked as the cat had heard him and had one eye open and was waking up. The little mouse just managed to squeeze under another door as the cat pounced at it, he was pounding and pounding at the door, rattling it on its hindges, but it wouldnt open, the mouse raced round the corner and hid under some cloths until he heard the door open and then he jumped up onto the bed and dived into a pillowcase to hide. Unfortunately for the little mouse the owner had seen him and picked up the pillowcase taking out the pillow, then closing the end and carrying it out. The mouse didnt know what was happening as he hung onto the fabric as he swung from side to side, and then suddenly there was light as the pillowcase was opened and tipped upside down and the mouse was falling through the air, he landed on some moss in the middle of the lawn. He couldnt beleive his luck, he could see a blue sky with white fluffy clouds, he was free, he'd been rescued and would live to see another day and his family. He raced across the garden heading for the woods but his happiness was to be short lived as the cat had also made it out of the house and round the side, with one sudden but decisive swipe of the paw the razor sharp claw cut the little mouse down, right through his juggular, he was dead. He would never make it home to his family, never again would he see them. The cats now content that he had finished the job returned to the house to sleep it off untill the next hunting trip.

Pork and Herb loving cat

We had a barbacue this evening and Tabby the wandering cat returned from a day in the fields, she decided that the barbacue not only looked interesting but smelt good too. She sat there sniffing and we thought she might jump up onto it so i flicked a bit of beefburger with onion onto the floor to distract her, she woofed it down then sat at my feet meyowing, the burgers had gone so bits of pork and herb sausages where flicked onto the floor, and guess what they got woofed down, then she stands with her feet on my knee saying 'Boy that was good, give me more, give me more now!', in all she had a whole sausage from my meal then decided to go off and kip down on the bed. So if anyone encounters a tabby cat with prok, herb and onion smelling breadth you know why!.

Dead Duck

For years the little duck made out of multicoloured sponge sat at the end of the bath. He had a yellow body, a green head and a red tail. He was content and happy, occasionally having a swim in the bath. BUT not any more, the other morning, it happened !, he was led  on his back on the floor, head and tailless, his head and tail ripped into minute pieces  and scattered around the bath. The Duck was Dead!.
The culprits, well who knows all three cats claim an allaby and pretended to be inncoent fluffy animals who wouldnt harm anything.

Cat Free Zones

After several months of closing the door that leads down to the bedrooms and sleeping in a "Cat and rodent free zone" it might be over. Getting up in the morning and  seeing the cats sat looking all sad the other side of the glass, thinking they where saying "we want our breakfast", WRONG, they were actually saying "We brought a mouse in last night and it squeezed under the door and ran under your bed, can we come in and find it please". Little did we know, the door may stop the rats getting into the bedromm but  not the mice. Sure enough later on there was dead mouse lieing on its back with feet in  the air underneath the bed.

Busy Night

It was busy the other night, the cat flap was going strong, like picadilly circus, cats coming and going, chunk-chunk or rather chunk-chunk chunk-chunk as there are two cat  flaps they have to negotiate. They all happened to be on bight shift at the same time,  one cat in, one cat out, so it was chunk-chunk chunk-chunk chunk-chunk chunk-chunk on and off all through the night. By morning there was just a mouses tail and leg in the hallway  and some rather large bits of intestine in the study. Fortunately its a bungalow and theres a door that can shut off the bedrooms from the rest of the house, so we have a  cat-rodent certified free zone, a place of refuge, until morning that is when the cats  are sat the other side waiting for their breakfast and wondering why on earth they cant come down that end of the house any more.

AWOL

The 6 month old cat decided to go AWOL saturday night, he's never out for more than  an hour at a time but he never came home. Sunday morning , no sign of him, went walking up the lanes, looking in the bushes and ditches for him, nothing. Went across the fields looking in barns, sheds etc etc all in the pooring rain, no sign, he'd gone. Then at 11pm  last night wham, the flap goes and he's in looking like a drowned rat, must have been locked in somewhere and managed to escape to make the mad rush back home through the  storm. He has two dishes of food and some munchies and settles down for the night, well  almost, minutes later he's gone and back again to deposit a live mouse in the kitchen  then off again, at 1am theres a dreadful squeeling sound from outside, he's now got a  BIG rat squeeling in his mouth. You hold the flap, he's pushing it with his head, "No No your not coming in", "yes I am", "No your not", "yes I am, ive brought you another present, let me in", "No drop the damn rat, cat !", eventually the rat is droped beeding to death on the floor and finally deposited in a body-bag (tesco carrier bag), weight wise equal to about 12 mice !

New Arival

Well the new kitten has arived. The first night he was tired and nervous so slept. Last  night when your falling asleep, wham !, he jumps on the bed and lands in slap bang in the middle of your groin. Then starts to dive bomb your head, following that he's trying  to leep from one bedside cabinet to another using your heads as stepping stones. Then finally he starts to calm down and starts to purr like a motor bike engine, peace at  last, well for a few hours anyway.